Kelly explains that gratitude is more than fleeting thankfulness—it's a mindset that reshapes how we view the world. By intentionally recognizing the good in our lives, we can reframe challenges, overcome a victim mentality, and operate from a place of abundance rather than scarcity.
Gratitude and intentional living go hand in hand. When you live with purpose, you naturally notice more to be grateful for. Conversely, practicing gratitude enhances your ability to set meaningful goals and stay aligned with your values.
Kelly outlines five actionable ways to incorporate gratitude into your daily life:
Studies cited by Kelly reveal that gratitude boosts happiness by up to 25%, strengthens relationships, and improves physical health, including better sleep and lower blood pressure. It's a superpower for resilience and rewires the brain to focus on abundance and positivity.
Gratitude doesn’t erase life’s hardships, but it shifts your focus from obstacles to opportunities. This mindset shift can dramatically alter how you approach your life and relationships, creating lasting fulfillment.
Kelly Berry (00:00)
Welcome to Life Intended, the podcast where we explore what it means to be true to yourself, live with authenticity, intentionality, and purpose. I'm your host, Kelly Berry, and I'm so glad you're here. I'm back this week with another solo episode, and I'm gonna keep it really brief, or that's my intention, because today's just two days before Thanksgiving. I know everyone is busy gearing up for the holidays and you know.
If this episode just isn't quite long enough for you, you can take the extra time I'm saving you and get caught up on one you may have missed or spend the extra time working on what we're going to be talking about today. Or you can take those few minutes and leave me a rating and review on Apple or a rating on Spotify. I would be truly grateful if you did so. So last week, I introduced 10 questions to help you create a more intentional life. And today I want to take
it just a step further by focusing on one of those specific questions and dive a little bit deeper. So that's question number 10, which was, what am I most grateful for right now? And how can I cultivate more gratitude in my daily life? And I wanna do this for two reasons. One I just mentioned, it's Thanksgiving week. So I think that thankfulness is very top of mind for everyone. And I wanted to give you a little bit more to think about as it relates to
really not just being thankful, which is kind of transactional, but being grateful. What that means, why you would want to work on it, and then how to do that. And then reason number two is because I believe that gratitude and intentional living are kind of like best friends. They support and enhance each other. So when you live intentionally, you notice more to be grateful for and vice versa. When you are more grateful,
you tend to live with more intention. And so because we're already in this mindset with Thanksgiving around the corner, to be thinking of what we're thankful for, know, family, friends, health, you know, the drill, you sit around the table, all the basics. Today I want to turn about turning those fleeting moments of thanks into a lasting practice of gratitude.
And gratitude is more than just a holiday tradition or a way we feel this time of year. It is a way of life that can transform how we feel, think, and act every single day. So let's dive into what that means, what gratitude really is, why I think it's so important, and how you can make it a part of your life. So what is gratitude? I've got a couple of definitions here.
Gratitude is the act of recognizing and appreciating the good in your life. It is not just a warm fuzzy feeling, it is a mindset, a lens through which we can view the world even when things feel hard. And then another definition by Dr. Robert Emmons, or Emmons, however you say his last name. He's one of the leading researchers that actually mentioned him in last week's episode as well. He defines it as twofold.
First of all, it's affirming the good things that we've received. And second, it's acknowledging that many of these good things come from outside of ourselves. So what I wanna kind of talk about and focus on a little bit more is that statement above where I said, is a mindset. That's how I like to think of it. And to me, it kind of even ties in two other ways of thinking that you've probably heard me talk about in previous episodes.
The first one is the victim mentality. I think that having a gratitude mindset is one of the contributing factors to overcoming this victim mentality where everything is against you. like you can't do anything because the world is against you. Really embodying a spirit of gratitude, being very appreciative of the things that you have.
helps to flip that victim mentality. The other one is, you know, it's very, it overlaps a lot, but you've heard me probably talk about operating above the line or below the line. And this is a concept from conscious leadership, which I love. And it references when you're operating above the line, you have this viewpoint that everything is happening for you. And when you operate below the line, you believe that everything is happening to you.
So a lot of what that means is basically the way that you feel, act and respond has everything to do with how you're receiving the things in your life and processing those. So again, I mentioned there's a lot of overlap in that victim mentality and operating above and below the line. But I really believe that if you think about the people in your life who are successful, they're kind, they're generous, they're joyful, you will literally be able to see what I just described embodied.
how they process things that happen to them in their lives and how they turn that into the way that they are and the mindset that they have. that's kind of like what gratitude is, why I think it, yeah, what it is. Now, why do I think it matters? And so I'm gonna bring in a few stats here because I love numbers and stats, but I'm just gonna spend a couple of minutes on this because honestly, there are so many podcasts on this topic.
from experts and people who are diving really deep. can find a ton of this info if you want to explore it further, which if you do, encourage you to reach out to me. I can recommend some podcasts for you. studies show that gratitude has incredible benefits for our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. So mental health. Practicing gratitude reduces depression and anxiety. And one study even showed that it is
increases happiness by up to 25%. For your physical health, gratitude improves your sleep quality, strengthens your immune system, and even lowers your blood pressure, which kind of makes sense. Relationships, people who regularly express gratitude report stronger, more fulfilling relationships. And I don't know about you, but I just mentioned the victim mentality and operating below the line where you feel like everything's happening to you.
Those are not people that I want to be around. They are not people that I want to spend time with. Those are people who are going to drain my energy. So by practicing gratitude and really embodying that mindset of gratitude, it just makes sense that you are going to have stronger, more fulfilling relationships because people are going to want to be around you. And then resilience, which is incredibly important. Gratitude helps people recover from trauma faster and fosters a sense of hope.
even during difficult times. So it's kind of like this superpower for your brain and it rewires it to focus on positivity. And then this is really important too. It rewires it to focus on abundance rather than lack. Abundance is a big one here in my opinion. I think it helps reframe everything that you may see through this scarcity lens. You know, I think about that as it.
relates to your career, as it relates to your finances, as it relates to maybe even love and friendships. So it helps you reframe that from a scarcity lens to an abundant one. And now that you realize how important gratitude is, I'm going to go into like just five really simple ways. this is something that you want to add into your life or try to improve your mindset, I think these are just five kind of
easy things that you can do, get started. You don't have to do all five. You can just pick one. And that's really what I would encourage you to do. Just take one simple step. So the first one is journaling. And I know you've heard me talk about, created the Life Intended Journal and Planner. You can get that on Amazon, but gratitude is a part of the cadence in that journal because I do think that it's important. So an easy way to do this is either,
morning or evening, you can even do both if that fits into your life, write down three things that you're grateful for. And here I'm really going to challenge you to go a bit deeper than just things that you're thankful for. I think that when you focus on the specificity of what you're grateful for, it really helps bring that to life. And I mentioned it before, but thankfulness, I think is kind of fleeting, like thanks for holding the door, thanks for
Emptying the dishwasher, you know, it's like, I'm thankful that you did those things, but I'm not like truly grateful. where, know, just an example from my life, like I'm grateful for where I live right in this moment. And one of the things, reasons that I am is because I can walk my daughter to school every morning and I do, and that is a dedicated time that we get to spend together. I'm building memories doing that.
I am I get to after I drop her off I get that walk home also where I can kind of like decompress from my morning that has been spent you know like getting a toddler ready for school and I can like decompress from that and kind of switch gears to get into my day so that is something like I'm grateful for I could you know say I'm so thankful for my house but I think that when you like reach in and get to a level of specificity it just helps you
kind of flip that switch to something that's a little bit deeper and more meaningful. All that being said, don't get too caught up in that though. There's no wrong way to do it. And I think that the important thing is to take the step and keep it in mind that things like this are called, quote, a practice for a reason. You just gotta get started and you'll get better over time. And so the reason that like journaling or writing things down,
is so important is it trains your brain to focus on the positive aspects of your life and build a habit of appreciating the good things around you. And so I would just encourage you if this is something that you want to do, you know, get a journal or a notebook. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just a piece of paper, but keep it somewhere where you are going to see it and you can start to build that habit. So whether that's on your nightstand, if you want to grab it first thing on your desk that you can do before you get started with work.
set a reminder on your phone. I mentioned atomic habits in my last episode also. There's all kinds of great habit stacking tips in there, but the important part of this is that it's something that you make a part of your every day and it really does transform how you view your life. And that really helps you get in that mindset of gratitude. The second one is mental subtraction.
So this one, you could do this every day certainly, but this may be more of just a reflection every once in a while to help you kind of put things into perspective. So this one involves reflecting on how your life would feel if something positive were missing. So your health, your home, even a friend. think most of you know I have a running background. I used to do this all the time when I was running healthy. I would imagine...
how I feel when I'm injured and being injured as a runner just sucks. You can't do the thing that you love. You kind of like feel like you've lost your purpose for a little bit. But I always try to appreciate in the moments where I woke up and I got at the door and I was running healthy and I felt really good to take some time to really focus on that. So the opposite of that is, take something really positive out of your life, your home, your friend. And so it
kind of makes you more aware of what you already have to be really grateful for. So yeah, that's that one. That's kind of the why in an example, you know, like even if you think about what if I couldn't walk today or what if I was really sick, you know, and I couldn't just go through my life. Yeah, I may be tired and maybe this, but I at least like am not sick or laying on the couch, all of those things. The next one is
gratitude letters or maybe even like you could think of this as thank you notes so you can Again, this is probably not a daily one But in every once in a while thing you could do this Certainly as you're trying to get into the mindset of being more grateful write a letter to someone who's made a difference in your life In really you don't even have to send it because studies show that the actual act of just doing it Can increase your happiness for weeks?
And I think it works for a number of reasons. I think because expressing gratitude strengthens your relationships and boosts both people's mood. It boosts your mood to be able to express gratitude and it really boosts their mood to be able to be the receiver of somebody being so grateful for what they have done. So that's another just kind of thing to do and see how that works.
If you like it, you could do it once a week or something like that. I've heard on a podcast, actually, I was listening to recently, the guest said as a part of his gratitude practice or strategy, you might say he writes one thank you note a week. And so I thought that was a pretty good suggestion. The fourth one is daily reflection. So this is a little bit different than journaling reflection. You could do it, I guess, at the beginning of the day or at the end of the day and just reflect on the period prior.
So if you're doing it every day, the day before or every week, and really just think about something in your day that you are grateful for. No matter how simple, somebody was nice to you, somebody complimented your outfit, somebody did a pay it forward in the drive-through, whatever, but it really helps you reflect and make sure that the things that you have to be grateful for don't go unnoticed.
And then the fifth one, and this one is probably my favorite and I haven't heard this on a lot of other podcasts, I guess, but something that I've kind of always thought about is practice giving in secret. And there's a lot of layers to this one, but one of them, one that I think is really important is that
giving in secret or you can think of it as giving anonymously helps you detach from the perception of generosity. So it helps you detach from what are other people going to think of me when I'm so generous or I'm doing all of these things for other people. So it encourages you to do it because it's how you want to be, not how you want to be seen.
It seems like, know, well, Kelly, this is maybe like generosity instead of gratitude. But I really, really think that this helps you be truly grateful for the ways that you're able to give to other people or impact other people without expecting anything in return. Because even if you even think about it, you know, if you donate to somebody's GoFundMe and I'm like,
There's no judgment in anything that I'm about to say. It's just an observation. I'm just pointing this out. But if you donate to somebody's GoFundMe and you do it anonymously, no one knows that you gave. They may look at the list of donors, whatever, but they don't know what you did or if you gave or how much you gave. When you put your name on there, somebody may think, wow, that person's really generous. And you may be subconsciously even thinking,
other people are gonna see how generous I am. So I need to give a little bit more. I think giving in secret really detaches you from, nobody's gonna know. And so I can give how much ever I feel led and that's gonna make me feel really gracious that I'm able to do things. So how to do this would be what I just said, like donating without sharing your name, leaving.
a surprise gift for somebody. And you know, I think we hear about this sometimes around the holidays, like leaving a really big tip or something like that, which can certainly be in this, but maybe even like dropping off a meal to somebody without putting your name on it. there's
Another student like in your kids class who you know just needs a little bit extra around the holidays and you can figure out some kind of way that your family can do something with no recognition for them Helping somebody cover expenses so if you know maybe like a family member or somebody that you could somehow do this anonymously for like a cash gift pay a bill for them Leave a gift card for us, you know an exact amount of something that they need
or even like just small like really random acts of kindness. think that any of these things and you once you start to think about this, you'll be able to think of, okay, there are a lot of ways that I can do this in my life. But I think that this one is it's a little bit unique, but it is it's just really beneficial. It does giving in secret, boost your happiness, it reduces stress and it also
I just mentioned this, but it really allows you to focus on the acts and cultivate some humility, which is also really important, and kind of build your sense of personal integrity. Like, are you the type of person who does these things when no one knows about it? Yeah, so other ways to say that is it kind of like shifts the focus away from you as a giver and onto the act of kindness itself.
And then it also allows, and I don't think we think about this very much, but it allows the receiver to feel like gratitude without the societal dynamics of obligation to do something back. So that's it for today. I guess some closing thoughts is like being
It's not going to erase the challenges or the hardships that you go through, but it does change how you're going to face them. Again, it shifts our focus from what's lacking in our lives to what's abundant, from obstacles to opportunities, from things happening to us to things happening for us, and those types of shifts, especially when that becomes your mindset, that the way that you approach life, it truly is life-changing.
As we celebrate Thanksgiving this week, I challenge you really to think about how you can make gratitude a daily practice for yourself. you to start small, stay consistent, and notice how it begins to transform your mindset and as a result, your life. So if you enjoyed this episode, I would love to hear what you're most grateful for right now. You can share your thoughts with me on Instagram at Life Intended Podcast.
You can leave a review wherever you listen and include that, but yeah, I'm not hard to find online. So you can find it, share it, tag me, however you want to do that. So thank you so much for listening today. I would be just remiss if I did not say I am incredibly grateful for you, for this opportunity to share these ideas with you, to be making an impact on how people think, their awareness.
Yeah, so thanks for tuning in each and every week for supporting me on this journey. feel honored that I get to do this and not only that I get to share, but that it just brings me so much joy and fulfillment to do that as well. So until next week, have a great Thanksgiving, everyone.
Kelly Berry is a strategic business leader and business coach. She is known for her operational excellence and her ability to drive growth and results across multiple industries.
She is also hosting her own podcast, Life Intended.
